My Kinky Counselor

I always thought that this wasn’t necessary, but ever since my significant other and I started slowly opening up to the possibility of introducing a third member to our household, we believe that it should be addressed, in order to avoid possible drama.

1 – Know yourself

Before diving into the BDSM scene, or any scene for that matter, it’s crucial to understand who you are and what you want. Reflect on your values, interests, and goals. This self-awareness will help you attract someone who is genuinely compatible with you.

2- Understand the advertiser’s profile

Take your time to actually read the entire ad and their profile. Note their interests, values, what they are looking for.

Yes, that means that if an advertisement or a profile specifically mentions specific criteria and you don’t fit those criteria, DO NOT hit that reply button. You WILL make a fool of yourself in the long run. Even if you do actually hit reply, DO NOT expect a reply from the OP and always be polite and respectful, knowing that it’s their ad/profile, and you’re extremely lucky to get a reply.

3 – Look and identify Common Interests

Look for points of connection that you can mention in your reply. This shows that you’re genuinely interested and have taken the time to read their profile. Highlight the common interests you identified in their profile. This helps build a connection and shows that you’re genuinely interested.

Example: “I noticed that you enjoy bondage too! I recently had a rope session with X/Y where I tried suspension for the first time, and it was an amazing experience.”

4 – Ask Questions related to their interests/ad

Encourage a conversation by asking questions related to their interests or something specific they mentioned in their ad.

Example: “What’s your favorite hiking trail? Do you have any recommendations for someone who loves nature and scenic views?”

5 – Be positive, polite, respect boundaries, and proofread before sending

Keep it on a positive and friendly note, while avoiding overly long messages. Aim for a few well-crafted sentences that make a good impression without overwhelming the reader.

If someone doesn’t respond, don’t send multiple follow-up messages. Respect their space and move on. Even when you get a response, do not push and give the other party the space they want.

Finally, ensure that your message is free from spelling/grammar errors. It’s 2024, you can use a myriad of tools to check for spelling and grammar mistakes.

A well-written message reflects your attention to detail.

6 – Be patient & Prepare for follow-ups

Think about potential topics to discuss, folllow-up questions, and most importantly, be patient. Everyone has different schedules and it might take some time for someone to reply!